Stupid stuff you've done

[Nasher]

Hightowers post from yesterday has reminded me we used to dish out a couple of awards at the Solent area Xmas dinner for stuff like this.

Hightower made a lovely job of mounting a bent prop in a stainless frame to award for the best 'Cock-up' of the year.

And I sprayed an Old Geko and mounted it for the Purple Helmet award for 'Seamed like a good idea at the time.

[jakew009]

As far as I can see recreational boating is basically the practice of keeping a very expensive, fragile machine in a massive puddle of corrosive liquid and repetitively trying to take it as far away from help as possible on a highly stressful navigational exercise with your entire family where any number of minor problems could result in a near death experience.

[Pikey Dave]

Originally Posted by jakew009

As far as I can see recreational boating is basically the practice of keeping a very expensive, fragile machine in a massive puddle of corrosive liquid and repetitively trying to take it as far away from help as possible on a highly stressful navigational exercise with your entire family where any number of minor problems could result in a near death experience.

Mmm! Maybe you’re not cut out for boating. Have you thought about basket weaving or embroidery? [emoji848]

[jakew009]

Originally Posted by Pikey Dave

Mmm! Maybe you’re not cut out for boating. Have you thought about basket weaving or embroidery? [emoji848]

which bit do you disagree with?

[Pikey Dave]

Originally Posted by jakew009

[emoji3] which bit do you disagree with?

I see boating as safer/more pleasurable/ less stressful/no more expensive than driving a car, and we don’t think twice about doing that.🤷*♂️
Boats are designed for their environment & probably last longer than (more) expensive cars.

[lakelandterrier]

Hopelessly optimistic launch a few years back.....

just after heavy westerly storms, it was the date of the long plannedPasty Run, planning to meet up with the Plymouth boys & girls at Salcombe. and a poor season so far weatherwise so keen to get out. Early start, dragged the boat from Galmpton to Torquay....all very quiet. Funny flat grey light over the sea, but no evidence of big waves / breakers. Very calm in the harbour. Had discussion with Sparky who was along for the ride & we decided to launch.

Get out of the harbour & it starts getting lively, but we are in an RC585 we'll be fine...beat our way across Torbay (nothing else out) and stick the bow past Berry Head - big mistake huge seas, 4m+ only time I've been in a trough and seen only water, no sky around me. immediately decided to turn round, but no easy feat. Only time I've ever really stuffed the boat coming off some of those waves - quite scary for a few minutes.

Should have trusted the forecast! lesson learnt.

[gtflash]

This is one of my worst. Circumnavigate IOW without telling anyone. Didn’t go to plan. https://www.rib.net/forum/f8/rough-weather-advice-31801.html

Another was leaving a rear rope attached to trailer. It wasn’t until step dad headed up slip with discovery and the boat flipped round and charged to land I realised. Luckily he heard the screams. A friend of mine did the same but the boat won, didn’t it Johnny? 🤣

Another was trying to drive boat on trailer downwind and tide. Took me 5-7 attempts before I took a lumps out the old American birds hull. Now I feel a need to interrupt people who are struggling and tell them why they are going wrong. Some listen, some won’t

[otilly]

Not getting into plane because the wheels are still lowered on transom

[neil.mccrirrick]

Fit a new fish finder with multiple down views. Going through the swellies at low water at 10 mph kids on board looking at the sites laughing and joking

I’m looking at all the different views on the fish finder and then...........

Ran straight into platters rock knocked my skeg off. Kids thought I was messing with them

Once I looked up and went back to chart view there it was clear as glass

[Last Tango]

Yeh.


This would be a long list, repeating countless stories almost to the letter.....
However.....after meticulous calculations and deliberation spent two weeks of my spare time manufacturing and fitting a replacement over-sized heat exchanger to the Rover V8 in my 16 foot jet boat to resolve a persistent overheating problem..........

To then discover it had a filter trap in the bilges clogged with weed.

[Jeff]

Originally Posted by Pikey Dave

Left the drain bung out, got 5 miles out to sea with a boat full of divers & thought “she seems to be bogging”.....[emoji849]

I thought that was SOP Dave ? [emoji6][emoji1787]

[Poly]

Originally Posted by jakew009

which bit do you disagree with?

These bits:

Originally Posted by jakew009

a highly stressful navigational exercise with your entire family

I think if you are finding the navigation stressful you either need to do some training or build up more experience, modern navigation with electronic toys to help you in a sib/rib is fairly straightforward - if you want a challenge you need to do it under paddle where wind and tide determine where you go.

where any number of minor problems could result in a near death experience.

Again I’d say you are doing something wrong. I’ve had minor screw ups create hilarity, but if you have the right training and experience most should not be near death experiences. I’m fairly convinced that part of this is having everyone (or at least multiple people) on board able to play their part and understanding what is going on, and how we are going to get ourselves out of any awkward situation.

Probably the biggest screw up I’ve had (and it is a long list!) was reconnecting throttle and gear cables the wrong way round - push off to launch boat, drift towards pontoon and blip the throttle in reverse to slow down and you get quite a fright. The natural instinct is going too fast so more reverse - grateful for HDPE hull/tubes that day!

[jakew009]

Originally Posted by Poly

These bits:

I think if you are finding the navigation stressful you either need to do some training or build up more experience, modern navigation with electronic toys to help you in a sib/rib is fairly straightforward - if you want a challenge you need to do it under paddle where wind and tide determine where you go.




Again I’d say you are doing something wrong. I’ve had minor screw ups create hilarity, but if you have the right training and experience most should not be near death experiences. I’m fairly convinced that part of this is having everyone (or at least multiple people) on board able to play their part and understanding what is going on, and how we are going to get ourselves out of any awkward situation.

Probably the biggest screw up I’ve had (and it is a long list!) was reconnecting throttle and gear cables the wrong way round - push off to launch boat, drift towards pontoon and blip the throttle in reverse to slow down and you get quite a fright. The natural instinct is going too fast so more reverse - grateful for HDPE hull/tubes that day!

Obviously the post was meant somewhat tongue in cheek

Anything with family is stressful even doing the dishes with the other half can turn nasty

As for near death experiences.. maybe I should say 'potential for death experiences'. Someone nearly got killed by their own boat rolling down the slipway in this thread before they even got on the water

[jakew009]

Last September we were going between Lundy and Clovelly at about 10 knots maybe 2 or 3 miles off shore, with no other craft around on a fairly nice day.

Next thing was the other half screaming that there was a swimmer about 30 foot in front of us

Who goes swimming a couple of miles offshore with absolutely nothing other than a pair of swimming trunks He continued his front crawl completely oblivious, didn't even notice us.

[willk]

Originally Posted by jakew009

Who goes swimming a couple of miles offshore with absolutely nothing other than a pair of swimming trunks He continued his front crawl completely oblivious, didn't even notice us.

Was he OK in the event?

[Salty Pete]

Originally Posted by jakew009

As far as I can see recreational boating is basically the practice of keeping a very expensive, fragile machine in a massive puddle of corrosive liquid and repetitively trying to take it as far away from help as possible on a highly stressful navigational exercise with your entire family where any number of minor problems could result in a near death experience.

You're going to die anyway, why delay the inevitable, go boating.

[smallribber]

Originally Posted by The Gurnard

Im not sure if I ever do anything sensible .. so could write a book on daft things I have done .. but will spare you the boredom of reading it.

Possibly my most embarrassing moment was when I launched my wee F Rib (shown in photo) in a small sheltered bay between rocks at a caravan site so plenty folks would testify my stupidity.



All was going as planed as the boat built up speed ..went over the hump and onto the plane. I was hanging onto the rope in the bow to stop myself being bounced out the boat as there was a bit of a wave on the water. My left hand was working the tiller. Leaving the shelter of the bay, the wind gusted and started to dislodge my hat. Instinct took over and I put my hand on hat to stop it blowing away.

Of course I needed my right arm to keep hold of the rope to stop myself bouncing out so without thinking used my left hand. I hit the bigger waves at the bay entrance and because I wasn’t holding the tiller..the boat swung into full lock and turn round throwing me out the boat and into the water. It all happened in the space of a second .. which shows how quickly things go wrong.

The kill cord..even with its extension .. worked perfectly and I clambered back on board .. soaked to the skin. I avoided looking at the launch point as I didn’t want to see the many sniggering caravaners.

I hope my recent stupidity does not turn around and bite me on my bum either. Every day during lockdown I have heard the radio say “Its OK to not feel OK just now ..these are unprecedented times.”

I don’t buy that as it is certainly NOT OK for me to not feel OK just now !!.
So that I can continue boating during lockdown, I have just spent every penny I have buying a house beside the sea. A hopefully dream come true .. but only assuming I can sell my landlocked city house to pay the bills ... or it could turn into a nightmare .

I always live by the seat of my pants ..and so far have had a ball out of life.

Next month I live beside this little bay



And if my house doesn’t sell ..I will need to live on these nasty brutes instead of Morrison’s salmon, at least until the mackerel arrive.



I can stomach the views from my fish shop though



So you can decide if buying a house before selling .. simply to keep on boating ..is stupid or not.

I have always lived for today and never feared tomorrow ..so acting on instinct as usual.. time will tell

Well done on the Move Donny and good for you I say. I always keep a keen eye on your youtube channel and seeing that you have not posted anything lately I was worried what had happened. Now I know what you have been up to..... Enjoy your new property

[jakew009]

Originally Posted by Salty Pete

You're going to die anyway, why delay the inevitable, go boating.

Absolutely

Only get one life

[Limecc]

Originally Posted by Pikey Dave

Left the drain bung out, got 5 miles out to sea with a boat full of divers & thought “she seems to be bogging”.....[emoji849]

Originally Posted by jakew009

Launching boat without the bung in.

Dropping bung whilst fitting and watching bung roll all the way down slipway. Bung was never seen again.

Both of the above happened within 10 minutes of one another.

Originally Posted by spartacus

Launched the boat with the bung out. I've just done it just the once, and it's on my pre-flight check list like a Lufthansa captain now!

Originally Posted by lakelandterrier

Done that with my Avon 400. Launched fine tied to pontoon. went to park the trailer up.
Sauntering back down thinking "launch was smooth, kids aren't fighting, we're going to have a good day...." I suddenly see Mrs T waving & jumping up & down shouting words to the effect "she's sinking" even though it is a rib and it's tied fore & aft to the pontoon. I Run down & immediately see I'd forgotten to to put the bung in (left it out ashore so rain water drained). Ankle deep in the finest Dart water I quickly insert it .
Then - and, this was the stupid part - I turn to Mrs T and say "the bung wasn't in - why didn't you just jump on board and put it in instead of shouting & screaming about it " Let us just say it was not the best start to a day on the water.

Originally Posted by Nasher

Me personally, I've had a few.

Forgetting to put the bung in is a popular one, my most memorable occasion resulting in Nos4R2 hanging me over the transom by my legs with my head underwater in the Camber trying to put the bung in by feel without dropping it.
Nasher.

Well I'm ashamed to say I've joined the 'launched boat without bung' club. At least I'm in good company lol.

We'd been out about 45 minutes. Didn't immediately suss out what was happening because it's a self-draining deck and there's a seat over the bilge. I'd had problems getting on the plane a few days earlier when the boat was fully loaded (with bung) and now it was even worse. Wouldn't plane with just the two of us!!

I also made the same stupider mistake as LLT of ignoring Mrs Limecc who was trying to tell me something was seriously wrong. I knew the water on deck had come in via the elephant trunks and still didn't check the bilge. At least I didn't have to get my head wet when hanging upside down over the transom.

Much ridicule/humour in the family, I was the one who added the drain in the first place!

[Matt]

I tried to outrun the Chichester Harbour Master once. Coming IN to the harbour. That took some very careful apologising.

Trying to tow my old Formula 292 SR1 (about 4 tonnes on the trailer) around the yard at Port Solent with my 1989 1.6 Peugeot 405 GL. Downhill was OK. Uphill less so.

Not so stupid, but funny, me and a mate spotted some burglars boarding a friends yacht on the moorings at the sailing club once. So we launched the club dory to investigate and called the police. Long story short, we found the baddies and the attending PC stripped down to his Y-fronts (so he didn't get mud on his boots and trousers) to get into the dory on the falling tide to arrest them.