I am now at the point where I:
a) Glue the central heating thermostat in position
b) Make my wife wear boxing gloves (may not be a good idea)
c) Scream and shout and jump up and down in a hissy fit.
Ribnet seems to be the traditional place for (c), so here goes...
"What is it with women and thermostats?" - Discuss.
The thermostat in our house is only ever set to 15 C or 30 C. 'Too hot' and it gets turned to 15 C; 'too cool' and it gets set to 30 C. And then back. And then back again. And then back again. That is not how they are supposed to work! The control gets moved back and forth like a DJ 'scratching' a record.
If switching it down to 15 C doesn't work, the fall-back is to open the back door to let out all of the air I have just paid to heat and bring in some cold air that I haven't paid to heat - yet.
It's the same in the car - 'LO' or 'HI' or 'OFF'.
Then I get a complaint that the heating didn't come on in the morning - it didn't come on because the thermostat was set to 6 C
I've politely explained the concept.
I've explained that switching the thermostat to 15 won't make it cool down any more quickly than knocking it down a couple of degrees.
I've used the patronising sing-song tones of a CBeebies presenter to give an explanation of the 'magic fairies in the thermostat' and how they will die if they are not left to do their work.
I have put a mark on it with a permanent marker and note saying "leave it!" but am at the end of my tether. It's not like I'm a miser who won't have it turned up beyond 17.
All I want is to have an ambient temperature of 20 ± 1 C. I don't want a house where jumpers and sweatshirts are scattered around the house (where I have jettisoned one to avoid fainting but left where it is in the sure and certain knowledge I will need it again in about twenty minutes).
It might be time to make the thermostat in the hall a placebo one, with the real one somewhere secret. Or buy a Hive.
SWMBO is an intelligent person who has done all kinds of responsible jobs - the simple concept of a thermostat seems to be completely beyond her comprehension. She isn't the only example of her sex to behave like this.
And, no, it's not her hormones - I did ask. Once. And only once.