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Old 01 June 2004, 04:49   #11
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Nope !

He called back next day because it broke down again !!!

I left soon after this !
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Old 01 June 2004, 17:05   #12
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Crikey Phil... I also had an illustrious career in the office equipment industry!

And you've reminded me of an incident...

One day I was working "off patch" in Northampton. I was very wary of creating a stir as the usual Northampton based copier engineers were a very fussy bunch who delighted in finding evidence of shoddy work or customers upset by not having their usual engineer.

I visited a very particular customer in the town centre who reported a number of niggling faults, and after spending some time attending to every fault, I had fixed all of them apart from one - a common "fault" where a customer set up multiple options on the copier, then became distracted by a telephone call or something similar, then returned to the copier to find that it had reset itself and needed all the options seting again.

My customer, a lady of somewhat rotund appearance, returned as I completed the work, and I briefed her on the completion of the work, but when I got to the point of explaining the reset problem, she became quite irritable. "No, no, no!" she exclaimed, "I've explained this to other engineers before, it does it much more quickly, after just a second or two".

Perplexed at something that I thought was quite simple, I asked her when exactly this happened. "Usually between changing pages" she said. I asked her to demonstrate this, and she produced a double-sided A3 form to copy in a complex manner. She set up the copier and did the copy of the first side, then leant over the copier to lift the lid to re-arrange the original on the glass. As she leant over the copier, I noticed that her frontal appendages (I daren't specualte which part or parts) flopped over the keypad and operated the "reset" key Faced with the prospect of explaining that this lady was actually too fat to operate a photocopier, I opted for the only sensible course of action...
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Old 01 June 2004, 17:12   #13
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I opted for the only sensible course of action...
So what did you really do then!!!

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Old 01 June 2004, 17:54   #14
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So what did you really do then!!!




Married her !!!!!
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Old 02 June 2004, 04:21   #15
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Richard

Fantastic tale and I think your answer to the problem was the best thing to do !!

I did a very similar thing when I visited a pump testing station in Newbury.

I fixed their copier but whilst doing so I pinched a live wire. When I switched it on I blew every fuse in the building plunging it into darkness !!!!

Not only this but it also shut down all the pumps that were on a six month constant running test and had been running for over 3 months by then.

I also ran whilst the building was still in darkness !!

It was the high point of my career as a copier engineer but that was the end of it.
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Old 02 June 2004, 13:40   #16
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The Confessional

Written by my wife and printed inYachts and Yachting-a true story....


It had been the hottest day of the year so far-and the weather forecast had promised a heatwave for the rest of the weekend.We found ourselves in tied up in Ryde Marina on a grey,cold,bleak saturday morning with a good force 5 blowing onto the shore,and the children exchanging the preliminary insults prerequisite to a really good bust-up.

There were six of us on board our Spring 25 yacht Springtied - my husband Paul, myself, three children, and Denzil our black Labrador. Denzil, whom we acquired with sailing in mind, had been the smallest in the litter. he has since grown to the proportions of a small donkey, on a carefully balanced diet of sailing shoes (left foot only, kitchen chairs, one complete set of school books, half a No.3 jib, the Oxford Companion to Classical Music and a packet of wallpaper paste).

To the obvious dismay of all around us, we tied up on the end of the pontoon, separated the children, and despatched them to various corners of the marina to go crab fishing. Paul then felt the need come upon him, as the tide retreated to climb into the knee high, pungent, black mud, and scrub the slime off the boat's bottom. I went for a walk into the town.

We all returned to the boat to find a beautifully scrubbed bottom and gleaming hull.

Paul returned the hose, had a shower, and then retired gratefully to the cockpit opening a can of beer prior to the afternoon's siesta.

Denzil had other ideas. he had been eyeing the black slime longingly for some time, and, unable to contain himself any longer, launched himself gleefully off the end of the pontoon into the mud. The resounding squelch could be heard from one end of the marina to the other. Paul propelled himself from the cockpit and, with the aid of the boathook retrieved Denzil before he disappeared from sight.

The dog was completely covered in thick black muck. Denzil then did what any self-respecting labrador would do in that situation; he shook, vigorously, coating not only our boat, but the boat opposite us, and its occupants, who were enjoying their lunch, in an even spattering of foul-smelling mud.

The mud in Ryde has a particularly tenacious quality, and is not easily removed with just one shake. While retreating up the pontoon towards the hosepipe, Denzil shook himself again and again, in fact, approximately every 30ft or so, coating every single boat he passed.

Paul meanwhile, determined not to be beaten, hurled himself upon Denzil with all the determination of a New Zealand quarter back, in a vain effort to stop the resulting shower fo mud, and then proceeded to wrestle him to the floor. This scene aroused quite a bit of interest from passers-by. Man and dog walking side by side up the pontoon, both completely plastered in mud, stopping every few feet to fall to the floor in a canine half-nelson, then walking another few feet to repeat the process.

We would like now to take the opportunity to apologise to all who returned to their boats to find them splattered; to the people next to us who were very understanding, and even helped us scrub all the boats as best we could and the pontoon as well, and of course to the local oil refinery which - despite our best efforts with the hose - we heard getting the blame for a fall-out of mysterious black spots.

OK a bit late-but I thought it worth posting anyway!
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Old 03 June 2004, 01:44   #17
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Nice one Sue...and Paul!!!


Did you illustrate that one for the magazine Sue? Pics must have been priceless too!!!

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Old 03 June 2004, 02:33   #18
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Bad to worse....What do you say? #1

Richard B's funny episode reminded me of a friend's story about working at a bank in Cork. She had just returned from maternity leave and was in the back office ...and in the days before glass partitions in banks as the long snaking queue stared bored and frustrated at the lone teller on desk duty my friend became aware that the poor young teller was struggling with a cheque which a rather irate looking male customer was trying to pay in his account.
Moving out front to help her colleague...my friend reassured the man that all would be taken care of and the cheque safely deposited...
She then leaned over the counter to have a closer look at the handwritten cheque and promptly sprayed the whole thing with breast milk leaving it even more illegible than before...
OK she then did wot Richard did.

God knows how the teller sorted it out!!!!

Missus
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Old 03 June 2004, 12:54   #19
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Nice one Sue...and Paul!!!


Did you illustrate that one for the magazine Sue? Pics must have been priceless too!!!

Missus
No, I just wrote the article - payment (would you believe) was the original cartoon used to illustrate it by peyton............
Sue
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Old 03 June 2004, 15:49   #20
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Hopefully increasing in value...

Missus
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