You've got it wrong again - what actually happened was that having come across some "Lively Ladies", we succeeded in taking your women and tried to drink the beer.
Thank goodness we didn't try the beer first ........
We were prepared for this and arrived tooled up with a range of proper alcohol. Unfortunately one of our number sank most of it before providing the entertainment at the Rib Party, still carrying an empty bottle of Glenfiddich.
Rumour has it that he proposed marriage to the bottle several times during the evening. Fortunately the bottle turned him down.
As you failed miserably to prevent us partying through the weekend, I will remind you that this was merely a recce party, and once we have sobered up (next week at this rate) we will begin to plan a serious invasion next year !
We have of course made copius notes of any significant event, but as yet we are unable to explain your antics on the pontoon on Saturday evening.
Why was the female lying face down, and how did you get her arms that far behind her back ?
Was this your rear guard action ?
The photographs may reveal the true nature of your actions, and the negatives may be offered for sale.
As far as I know it was a great weekend, but I haven't seen all the pictures yet - was there some boat race on ?