Rouge Wave........you plonker.

Andy Stevens · 24 May 2005, 07:35

Now I'm sure most people here will agree that Stu is a sound bloke.
Sure, he can talk the hind legs off a donkey but most of what he has got to say is interesting so we can put up with that. He is also one of the most helpful people I have met, the sort of bloke who would swim out to help you if your engine packed up. BUT, i feel compelled to to tell you about the Hopkins experience yesterday:

Monday I awoke on my 30th birthday having lost my paintball site that weekend. With nothing to do I decided to take the boat for a spin and meet Paul and Kathleen out of Port Solent for a birthday drink. The sun was out but it was very windy, who cares, we've got a rib afterall. I called STU and he said the boat was in the water as I was supposed to be using it on Sunday for the poker run. I said I would arrive at 11.30. When we did arrive at 12, good old Stu was on the jetty changing the terminals on the battery.

Basically,Stu thought he had left the bilge pump on and the battery was too flat to start the boat. Optimax engines like lots of battery he said. He changed the battery, checked the wires, checked the engine,changed for another battery all while telling us of his rib experience and also telling us he was going to support Portsmouth next year as he enjoyed Premiership football and Southampton in the Nationwide would be boring.

We sat on the Jetty listening to Stu rabbit on, watching the time tick away. Still the boat would not start and Stu was flumuxed. Time for me to get involved. OK, start at the begining and remove the possibilities.

1. Remove Stu, ignore everything he has said.
2. Start at the begining
3. Check Key is in
4. Check kill cord
5. Flick kill swith ON

6. Turn key
7. Engine starts on first spin.

Number five is the one to look at and I am sure Stu will in the future!
2 hours of battery changing cos the welsh wizard forgot the kill switch!

Stu Hopkins, I salute you. You total plonker!

(but still a top bloke)

Nick Hearne · 24 May 2005, 07:50

Stu is shore not the first or the last to do this!

Whats happened to the paint balling?

NICK

Andy Stevens · 24 May 2005, 08:12

Land lord issues. Cant say too much atm.

DGR · 24 May 2005, 08:16

First time we tried to get our tender sorted to go out to the RIB on the swinging mooring - outboard wouldn't start.

Choke was out, kill cord was in, fuel vent was open, there was fuel in the tank. Why wouldn't it start?

In the end I paddled out to the RIB (we were rushing to catch the tide) - but once we got back onto the mooring we had some time to really have a go and puzzle it out.

Next time I'll turn the fuel tap to 'on'.

My excuse is that the start-up checks on a diesel RIB are so completely different to an outboard that I just missed it......

I still felt like a nob though - especially in front of all those people.........

badbaws · 24 May 2005, 08:23

If there is one thing I have learnt.. If you can't be arsed to do the whole launching your own boat and getting it ready yourself.. well you only have half the boating experience.. So maybe leave an hour earlier and launch your own boat!! that way you'll know exactly what YOU do wrong...unless YOU always do the perfect launch!!! Go on have a go...

MeMe · 24 May 2005, 08:34

..........Oh I do love a good tale

Scary Des · 24 May 2005, 08:42

Oh if we are having a confession session here goes, Lymingtons’ Bath road slip is very public, in fact there are benches positioned in such a way to encourage spectators and generally there are half a dozen old biddies sat knitting waiting for you to get it wrong. I was retrieving a friends Ribtec on my own and things were going well, I had put the car and trailer on the slip and was in the process of motoring the boat on to the trailer, bow straight between the first roller, little blip the throttle to get the boat up to the stops and me over the side to stop the boat rolling off. This is when it went wrong, as I got out I stood on the mug guard which broke, I then fell backwards covering myself from head to foot and while I was floundering around the boat slipped gently of the trailer. My audiences loved it especially when I had to wade after the boat to stop it disappearing down the river

Des

Scotty · 24 May 2005, 09:09

On the first day we got our new rib I never checked to see if the bung was in the transom...(why would you ?) After ten minutes in the water our ankles were getting wetter.... Back to the crane and a quick lift out and call to Mike (in the UK) sorted it !! Drain out Irish sea and screw in bung in bilge

badbaws · 24 May 2005, 09:26

On my Level 2 powerboat course.. the bung was left out... Supposedly 4 of us had checked it!!! I have had to change a prtable fuel tank infront of the IOW ferry in the middle of the Lymington River.. we thought we had a couple of litres left and would change the tank in Lymington.. but alas slap bang in the middle of the channel cough splatter.. fumes only power an engine so long...

I have seen someone else on a slipway.. launching a RIB who had not untied the RIB from the trailer.. As he went astern into deep water the trailer followed!!!

When at school a couple of the guys got 100 yds from the shore before the rescue boat engine cut out.. they filled the tank with diesel.. was a petrol engine...

I have jumped over the side of a boat to take a line ashore before and thinking it was only a few feet deep was suprised to disappear beneath the surface!!

eupa · 24 May 2005, 09:55

Oh if we are having a confession session here goes.....

Have just finished doing up my rib ( only 2 months late) - and last job to changege/check wheel bearings on the trailer. One was wacky - so changed it. It has the conical type beraings... and you can guess it -put them in the wrong way - Should have realized that the force needed to put them back was out of all proportion. But being very mehodical ( ha, ha ) did a small trip around our residence with the boat on the trailer............... and of course 500 meters and the wheel glides pass me......... But the trailer was just as stable on three wheels as 4.

brucehawsker · 24 May 2005, 11:59

I had the Opti slightly out of neutral after mooring just before recovery. Tried everything to get her started. Twisted the key so hard the entire barrel lock assembly started to rotate freely. It was my 14 year old who pointed out my mistake.

He didn't call me a plonker

Hightower · 24 May 2005, 12:00

So Stu isn't such a plonker then!.....Is he?

brucehawsker · 24 May 2005, 12:02

No comment, but Kev at Solent had a wry smile when I told him about it at first service!!!

Peter J · 24 May 2005, 12:34

Quote:

Originally Posted by brucehawsker

I had the Opti slightly out of neutral after mooring just before recovery. Tried everything to get her started.

Hmmm..... This one sounds familiar.

A "friend" of mine did just the same thing. 1st trip out this year having had to jump start the engine where the battery had run down over winter the day before. I assumed ..cough cough ... I mean he assumed the battery had gone flat again despite being run for 15 mins with the day before. Went home prepared the jump leads only to find the it wasn't in neutral. Quick flick of the lever and started 1st time.

DM · 24 May 2005, 13:27

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andy Stevens

You total plonker!

Not long ago, he was working under a boat with a disc cutter. Because he'd only got 5" dics which were to big for the cutter, he'd taken the guard off, but he will deny this and blame someone else.. He managed to drop the cutter which was writhing like a mad thing between his legs about 6" away from his nob. 'Don't move' I shouted. Not being one for listening to good advice, he did, and narrowly escaped being turned into a eunuch. Sooo funny.

Not longer after, some lads turned up with a large amount of cash to pay for a boat he'd sold. Britt asked me to drive her to the bank to pay the cash in before Stu could get his hands on it. As we left, one of the lads said to Stu 'You do realise that your mate has just disappeared with your wife and a big wedge of your cash'. Stu replied 'Yeh. I'll miss Dave'.

Priceless.

DM

benc · 24 May 2005, 13:43

Quote:

Originally Posted by davidmanning

Not longer after, some lads turned up with a large amount of cash to pay for a boat he'd sold. Britt asked me to drive her to the bank to pay the cash in before Stu could get his hands on it. As we left, one of the lads said to Stu 'You do realise that your mate has just disappeared with your wife and a big wedge of your cash'. Stu replied 'Yeh. I'll miss Dave'.

Priceless.

DM

Certainly sounds like Stu's sense of humour!

Shame Stu is without net connection at the moment :P Im sure he would have something to say to all this

Jono · 24 May 2005, 13:53

Nobba...yer joke's nearly as old as you are.......

Andy Stevens · 24 May 2005, 14:44

He actually said to me

"I bet this ends up on ribnet tonight"

So he is a good gambler!

And I don't like to dissappoint!

Aging Youth · 24 May 2005, 18:18

Hi Stu,

Absolutley Priceless

You are not the first nor the last proffesional to do something like that.

See you soon.

The Jackeens · 24 May 2005, 19:32

Quote:

Originally Posted by Andy Stevens

I decided to take the boat for a spin and meet Paul and Kathleen out of Port Solent for a birthday drink. The sun was out but it was very windy

All was well that ended well

It was nice and wild on the Solent yesterday!

Hope you enjoyed the birthday anyways Andy!( ...and you should let 'the other' Stu drive more often

He loved the waves

)

As for Rogue Wave....respect

Nice to catch up with ye !

Us