Funny Stories

Dry Run · 22 March 2011, 23:35

Hi Guys, I've been asked to write an article about "strange, humorous and funny boating incidents". It's for a charity calendar to be produced next year. Does anyone want to tell me their story (doesn't have to be "side splitting", just amusing) so I can include it? Only have room for twelve (obvously), and you would have to agree to have it published. Must be quite short (don't have unlimited space). Here's mine, which I hope you find amusing.

Was asked by loacl pub to help out with charity event. They wanted Santa to arrive by water to distribute gifts to local handicapped children. I was happy to oblige. In the spirit of the season (and after several "free pints") thought that it would be great if we dressed the RIB to look like a sleigh. Better still, if we put a pole at the front and attached 6 inflatible reindeer so we could give the impression that Santa's sleigh was being pulled by the Reindeer. We picked up Santa and his helpers from a pontoon about 500m from the pub. Santa was nervous and said that he didn't like water! By the time we set off 2 of the reindeer had become "detached" and were upside down in the water and several presents had been lost overboard. We arrived at the pub with 2 drowning reindeer and as I unloaded Santa onto the pontoon he threw-up into his beard! Later the pole became detached and we still don't know the whereabouts of it and the six reindeer - any sightings?

bosun · 22 March 2011, 23:43

Water skiing behind a spectacle wearing friends boat and it started to rain,tide was out,I'm hanging on the end of the ski line with rain in my eyes thinking that I can't really distinguish where the sea ends and the beach starts,and I wonder if he can, what with his glasses being covered in rain etc when the boat stops and I sink down on the ski.......up to my knees. My mate has driven straight up the beach,as I take the ski off and walk through the water toward the boat he switches the engine off and the boat flops over onto one side of the hull.The boat is completely clear of the water and he's ploughed a furrow up the beach.

bosun · 23 March 2011, 00:04

Out in a rib with a young lad that I was helping to train up for the Honda rib challenge at the southampton boat show,we are running as a safety boat during a dinghy nationals,The committee boat (a yacht) is having trouble anchoring in wind over tide conditions,we are hanging around watching them struggle when the skipper asks us to give them a nudge to push the yacht around the right way. I say to the youngster ''just give them a push with the bow'' he looks at me wide eyed,''just motor up to them then push them with the rib'' says I,
we are about two boat lengths away so he gives it full throttle and slams into the side of the thing at which point the skipper and everyone else fall over.
''Umm we havn't covered that yet have we'' says I
oops.

Dry Run · 23 March 2011, 08:43

Thanks for those!

C-NUMB · 23 March 2011, 16:14

This happend a sunny afternoon in a well respected marina. I was, among others, helping the owner of a nice 34 ft sailing yaht to take down tha mast before dry docking the boat.

Job was done on a dedicated place with the help of a mast crane. Things proceeded normaly until the skipper instructed where to put the lifting belt on the mast. The mast had two spreaders and the "order" was to attach the belt around the lower one.

It did not look right and requested the skipper, are You sure?Yeah, I know my stuf was the ansver, not knowing this particular boat that well did not start to argue.

Well, after loosening the deck bolt not hard to imagine what happend next. The mast was totally out of balance, skipper was hangin on the lower end, direction sky wards. Top of mast was going down with a rapidly increasing speed towards seabed...
At the stakge when the brawe skipper was on a height about 4-5 meterts higher then the deck, still mowing upwards, he realised that game is over, let go and was rescued by grabbing the frame of the mast crane.

There we were, mast upside down (top in the water), skipper hanging like a monkey in the mast crane, and a very strange silence in the fancy, crowded marina....

No one was hurt and material damages only minor, skipper suffered only mental damages