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Old 20 January 2015, 13:20   #1
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Funniest boating mishap

Following on from the stories in the Salcombe thread, what's the funniest boating mishap you've seen or been involved in? Of course, we all know, ribsters don't have mishaps....
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Old 20 January 2015, 14:18   #2
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Funny, this is debatable - but driving down to Salcombe funny enough with my dad & having one of our trailer wheels over take us on the hard shoulder didn't cause slight amusement!
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Old 20 January 2015, 14:55   #3
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Must be something about Salcombe...
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Old 20 January 2015, 15:13   #4
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My most spectacular boating cock up was in Salcombe too!
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Old 20 January 2015, 15:35   #5
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And in Salcombe, too. My daughter deciding the best way to pick up a visitor buoy from a yacht was not to reach down but to climb off the boat onto the buoy. Somehow she managed to stay upright.
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Old 20 January 2015, 15:45   #6
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A full on 30 knot stuff, in front of quite a few ribnetters outside Yarmouth in my SR4. I still have the Ribnet Whale trophy.

I was aboard another (ex) ribnetter's boat fishing one day when he forgot to pull the anchor up off Alum Bay and motored off at tickover towing a mackerel line. It's quite surprising how fast an RC585 will turn 180 degrees...
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Old 20 January 2015, 17:30   #7
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Not everyone laughed

At Torquay Marina, I once witnessed the proud new owner of a 40ft Fairline turn up, overnight bags and family in tow, eager to take his new toy out on her maiden voyage.
Almost all available marina staff were assigned to a line, whilst the new skipper prepared for departure. With everything and everyone safely on board, the engines were duly fired up. The excitement was tangible as they prepared to slip. Then, for reasons that soon became apparent, the owner began testing the bow thrusters with amateurish enthusiasm, totally oblivious to the effect it was having on the poor chap holding the bow line.
Content with the performance of the bow thrusters, he brought in the lines and throttled forward into the fairway, straight towards the sterns of boats moored ahead. His intention, indeed his only option, was to turn to port 90 degrees, into the fairway. However, his predicament was threefold; he was going too fast, running tight alongside the pontoon on his starboard and he was harbouring a total misconception of the principal of bow thrusters.
It is worth noting that at no stage, since the initial application of power, were the throttles or steering touched. Instead, the unsuspecting owner stood by the helm with one hand on the thruster control. With the stern of the boat ahead looming, he gave the bow thruster full wellie to port. To his horror and unsurprisingly, nothing happened. Well, when I say nothing, I mean nothing happened to the current speed and course. The skipper went into immediate meltdown and made his next big blunder. Still ignoring the throttles, he swung the steering full to port. Two things happened in a very short space in time. The starboard corner of his gleaming teak covered bathing platform was forced to confront the edge of the pontoon and then the stanchion itself. The platform lost; perhaps, more accurately, he lost the starboard corner of his platform. By now he had somehow managed to point the boat in the direction he so desperately needed. Then came the painful demonstration of linear momentum in practise. Although he was pointing the right way, he continued to travel broadside on the original course, straight into the back of 3 moored cruisers. Metal bent, fibreglass crunched, wood snapped and a tender popped like a balloon.
What experience has he got, I asked the harbour master, as soon as I could speak. None, he replied, itís his first boat. Somehow, you can always spot a novice!!!
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Old 20 January 2015, 18:52   #8
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At Dittisham I witnessed a long suffering wife and her husband coming along side a pontoon in their dingy with the wife perched on the bow with a rope ready to tie up, the skipper slapped the outboard in reverse with too much throttle only for the wife to do a slow motion forward role shoulder first into the drink

Sometimes it's hard not to laugh at other peoples misfortunes

I was poised at the ready to do my duty if nessasary but all was well
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Old 20 January 2015, 22:49   #9
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We'd had some engine trouble with the Mercury 25 on one of our Seariders. Starting, water circulation problems, gummed up carbs that had to be put through ultrasonic cleaning. It had been out of action for a couple of months all told.

I was the first out in it afterwards, to cover junior sailing training. Me, one instructor, one trainee on board.

About 400 yards off the beach, the engine slowed down when I opened the throttle. Then sped up when I closed it. And then stopped. All the previous trouble with it was probably the reason why the first thing I did was say "Rescue 3, Rescue 1. This engine's stopped again, over." rather than try to work out why.

So out came the other boat to investigate, and what was wrong?

The instructor standing on the fuel line.


And of course, I've also spent more minutes than I'd like to admit tied up alongside committee boats full of race officers, with other safety boats around, trying to start the engine with the kill cord unplugged.
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Old 21 January 2015, 00:09   #10
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Posted this before, but I'll write it up again (seems easier than looking up the prior post):

Out to watch fireworks on New Years Eve, me and my buddy both launched out of Alameda on the Estuary. Ran out to about Pier 39 to watch the lights, and headed back after the show; maybe 12:20am or so? Dodging unlit dinghies, sailboats, and whatever else was out, we got back to the ramp at about 1am. My buddy Jeff tied up and went up to get his truck, staged in line (there were maybe 6 boats ahead of us) and when it was his turn, backed the trailer into the water. He had Pam take the wheel, and returned to his RIB, power loading it onto the trailer. At this time, everyone was watching him, as the normal method was to manhandle the boat into position, attach the strap to the bow eye, and off you go. So, with the boat in position, I hear Jeff yell "Okay, Pam, Nice and easy". He kept a bit of throttle on to hold the boat until the bunks grabbed, and waited for the trailer to start moving. There was slight chirp of the tires, and Pam took off up the ramp, expertly maneuvering the rig to miss the K-barriers and other trailers, ending up nicely centered in the parking space. Meanwhile, nobody on the dock said a word. Jeff was sitting in the water, his boat still in place after the trailer was snatched from underneath, much like the tablecloth from under the place settings magicians trick. After about 30 seconds, some random guy on the dock says "Is she coming back?" And everyone started laughing. Except Jeff.

Jeff's son ran up and, as Pam was getting out of the truck, asked "Pam, forget something?" She looked back, and just said "Shit." She refused to come back down to the ramp, until Jeff's kid finally convinced her to.

The guy between Jeff and me had his wife pull the truck out, to which Pam said "Sure she can do it..."

The guy looked at her and said "After seeing you, I made sure to tie the boat down before she moved."

I still get to rib Pam about that every chance I get (which includes calling her out of the blue to "reminisce".

jky

Edit: I think I should have looked up the old post.
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