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Old 12 September 2011, 14:25   #11
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Oooooops
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Old 12 September 2011, 14:28   #12
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Or a more topical one...

Adam was walking around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely, so God asked Adam, "What is wrong with you?"

Adam said, "Lord, I don't have anyone to talk to."

God said, "Then I will give you a companion, and she will be called a 'woman'. This person will cook for you and wash your clothes, she will always agree with every decision you make. She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them. She will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement. She will never have a headache, and will freely give 'love' and compassion whenever needed. She will never question your behaviour or the company you keep. She will support you and understand that you have important decisions to make throughout your life and don't have time for nonsense..."

Adam asked God, "What will this woman cost?"

God said, "An arm and a leg..."

Adam said, "What can I get for just a rib?"
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Old 12 September 2011, 14:49   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Chris View Post
There are three blondes washed up on an island. Suddenly a fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish.

The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned into a brown haired woman and she swims off the island.

The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the previous one, so instantly she is turned into a ravishing redhead. The redhead builds a boat and sails off the island.

The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he walks across the bridge.
Did you not read the 5th post ?........
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Old 12 September 2011, 15:05   #14
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Ooops, good old Google... :-)
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Old 12 September 2011, 18:36   #15
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So far Im liking Crusher's "three blond" joke best. Sadly Chris's "Adam & the garden of eden" joke is disqualified for being about the wrong sort of "RIB" and therefore not boat related.

Final judging is tomorrow!!
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Old 12 September 2011, 19:24   #16
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Here's a couple

Come in number 9 - your time's up.

We've only got eight boats!

Oh, dear, number 6 must be in trouble then.


........................xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx........... .......

Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the bar counter with a great big smile on his face.

Dave says, "John, what are you so happy for?"

"Well Dave, I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxing my boat, just waxin' my boat, and a redhead came up to me... tits out to here, Dave. Tits out to here!

She says, 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' I said 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Dave. I turned off the key and I said 'It's either screw or swim!'

She couldn't swim, Dave. She couldn't swim!"

After a couple of days Dave walks again into that bar and sees John sitting at the end of the bar counter with a bigger smile on his face.

Dave says, "What are you happy about today John?"

"Well Dave... I gotta tell ya... Yesterday I was out waxing my boat, just waxin' my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blond came up to me... tits out to here, Dave. Tits out to here!

She said 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' I told her 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Dave. Way out much further than the last one. I turned off the key and I said, 'It's either screw or swim!'

She couldn't swim, Dave! She couldn't swim!"

A couple days pass and Dave walks into a bar and sees John down there crying over a beer.

Dave says, "John, what are you so sad for?"

"Well Dave, I gotta tell ya.... Yesterday I was out waxing my boat, just waxing my boat, and the most desirable brunette came up to me... tits WAY out to here, Dave. Tits WAY out to here.

She says, 'Can I have a ride in your boat?'

So I said, 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Dave, way WAY out... much further than the last two. I turned off the key, and looked at her tits and said "It's either screw or swim!"

She pulled down her pants and..... She had a cock, Dave! She had this great BIG cock! ... and I can't swim Dave! I can't swim!"


.......................xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx...... ................

Don't know what all the fuss is about, I'd have got it in the overhead locker eventually!
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Old 13 September 2011, 18:45   #17
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after working away for 6 weeks on Support Boats, he decided that he should spend more time with his loving wife.

first night back the phone went he answered and he said sorry wrong number...it kept ringing every 15 mins and was the wrong number each time.

The wife eventually asked ' who keeps calling' he replied ' Its a wrong number somebody looking for the coastguard, they keep on asking is the coast clear yet!'

S.
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Old 14 September 2011, 02:04   #18
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So the winner is the three blonds and the sunk cruise ship. As I also liked the "Come in number 9" I will give out two prizes.

Crusher and Hightower pm or email me your postal address's and I will get a ticket sent to each of you.
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Old 17 September 2011, 18:08   #19
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Thanks for the free tickets Doug,

Excellent day out at the show today, lots to see and do for everyone! Even the kids enjoyed it!

Sent from my iPhone using Rib.net
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