Well, it’s finally happened!
We are proud to announce the biggest non-event ever will be held next year. Now is your chance to live it up with the rich and famous… well .... some people you may have heard of who are related to someone who did something good. When I say related, obviously I don’t mean directly related. Look! They once went out with someone who slept with the servant of a chap who “did something good”.. Is that near enough? No matter.. it will be a very Glitzy event with people "helicoptering" in from all over the World to the launch party…when I say “helicoptering” obviously I don’t mean that literally… the number 9 bus stop is directly outside our venue for easy access.
It will be your chance to leave your boring little lives and join us smug bastards in a place where the poor people can’t get. Actually, being rich is not necessary, as long as your father was a Colonel and your mother was a horse. All true blue bloods will have their fees refunded.
The challenge will be awesome! We will set off from the River Severn (just above the old vinegar factory at Stourport) and make our way majestically down river under the adoring gaze of the on looking peasants before we burst out into the open, but ever so slightly brown, waters of the Bristol Channel. From here we will race headlong to Weston Super Mare where we will throw another extravagant party at Mrs Muffin’s Tea-rooms on the promenade. Expect it to be a wild night of mixing with the stars, debauchery and fish suppers.
The following day we will return. Unfortunately, we will have run out of funds by then so you’ll be on your own. We recommend you “buddy” up with a fellow competitor (in case of attack by those scurvy Weston pirates).
The price for this premiere event will be fifty quid. I’m sorry we can’t do it for any less….I mean do you know how much Pomagne costs now? For this you’ll get a T-shirt, a safety boat..when I say safety boat, I mean we’re gonna hire one of them RIB things from a reputable charter company… cause they must be safe, mustn’t they? You’ll also get to have the whole event filmed by a chap who reckons he can borrow his dad’s balloon for the day.
Imagine the scene if you will. Literally several high performance craft with many horsepower between them bucking like wild horses as they tear their way down the River. Minding to keep to the 6-knot speed limit of course. Isn’t that alone worth the entry fee?