Paintball -- the aftermath! - Page 3

DM · 22 February 2004, 23:27

Quote:

Originally posted by Louise
I would like it to be known that my Camo team stood no chance for three very good reasons:

Err...eight reasons methinks.........

General Sir Katleen' shoot the feckers' Jackeen. A master of strategy and merciless killer of the wounded.

Ian 'Gatling Gun' Greenwood who managed to shoot off 600 more bullets than anyone else. Awesome firepower but at £5 per hundred he needed to borrow the bus fare home.

Johnny 'Mad Dog' Kennett. Doubled as the platoon observation balloon due to his height. Sadly, he defected to the Camo's halfway through because their fire was wild and inaccurate, most of it going high. This meant that by 1500 hours, he had received 456 head shots.

Richard ' Take No Prisoners' B. A fine soldier with absolutely no qualms about shooting people in the back.

David 'The Sniper' Manning. One shot, One hit.

And three very young, very fit and very stupid jetskiers who gladly accepted the role of cannon fodder.

Against this formidable force, the Camo's stood no chance.

Brigadier Louise. She took the courageous decision to command her troops from the safety of the hospital after having her foot shot off. (by her own bullet)

Johnny 'Mad Dog' Kennett. By the time he defected, he was suffering severe concussion.

Paul 'Where the fcuk did that come from' Jackeen. Shot while trying to escape. (in the back)(by his missis)

Andre 'Pillbox' Scott. Spent the afternoon in an armoured car waiting for his driver. He hadn't noticed the engine had been taken out.

Phil 'Pinkie' Davis. Instantly spotted early on in the battles due to his gleaming white teeth. Even his dog was disgusted with his performance and showed his disdain by weeing over his camo jacket. This meant we could also smell him coming. In fairness, he did redeem himself on the offroad course.

And finally three 'Boonies' suffering from a range of disabilities including short sightedness, colour blindness, trench foot and shellshock

No contest.

DM

Ian · 23 February 2004, 00:00

First of all, us from up North did not break any facilities within the boundary of the Shebeen!
Second, Saturday was a great day and thanks to JK for arranging, Andy for letting us have a go (mad fool) and Colonel and Mr Jackeen for putting me up! It was a great, but exhausting day. Thanks to the Camo's for missing my bollocks by millimeters, and to whoever shot me in the head as I looked down to check on my 'hardware'!
Good to meet up with names off here and glad Aging Youth made it to the pub.

I am sorry to say that I can no longer refer to anyone south of Watford as a wuss. It pains me to say it, but after seeing some of the water (yesterday) you have to put up with down there you are not wussies

What a mess, try ironing it out a bit before we visit down there again.

Gemini 5.05 Zebedee performed very well. Mr Jackeen did not. When pushing a boat off a pontoon it is usually drier to jump on quick. Leave the 'You've been framed' clips of the splits to the television shows! And no camera ready. The miserable sod wouldn't do a rerun so we could film him either.

Thanks again to one and all.

P.S. Jet Skiers are not only mad bastards on the water, they live upto their reputation on the paintball arena as well!

MeMe · 23 February 2004, 10:01

is the first time I've ever seen Ian wearing anything co-ordinated.

Wish I'd been there.

Phil Davies · 23 February 2004, 11:56

Yes, without doubt one of the most fun days out I've ever taken part in - magnificent entertainment. I'd just like to echo everyone else's comments by pouring fullsome praise on JK for pulling it all together with his customary efficiency, on Andy for his sterling efforts in running it so smoothly for so many hours, and of course on battlefield correspondent, Andre, who captured it all so well with his digicam - well done, men!

Unfortunately the day was marred by an unsavoury incident involving some underhand and, frankly, downright unsporting tactics employed by Dave 'Butcher' Manning who, in a repetition of scenes enacted by Argentinian forces in the Falklands War, feigned surrender by walking casually through the battlefield with raised arms and weapon.

On reaching the opposition front line and, with a callous and flagrant disregard for the terms of the Geneva Convention, he opened fire at point blank range and emptied an entire magazine of paintballs into the unsuspecting ranks of the Camouflage team. Amidst scenes of outright confusion and carnage Manning was eventually overcome and, I am pleased to report, has been indited to appear before a special sitting of the War Crimes Tribunal in The Hague.

Ian · 23 February 2004, 12:20

Bad loser! Manning took the opportunity to wipe out a front line defence which enabled the Greens to take the battle. I nominate him for a postumous VC.

The Jackeens · 23 February 2004, 12:34

Quote:

Originally posted by Ian
I nominate him for a postumous VC.

He was looking OK at dinner last night...wasn't my cooking was it???

Missus

Ian · 23 February 2004, 12:37

Sunday was a little more relaxing and didn't involve guns or shooting people in the back!
The Jackeens, DM and I visited the IoW with a stop off for coffee. Looking at DM's pose I think he was still suffering from the 5 or 6 shots to the back he received on Saturday (sorry Dave).

No, dinner was great thanks.

Ian · 23 February 2004, 12:40

Quote:

Originally posted by MeMe
is the first time I've ever seen Ian wearing anything co-ordinated.

Wish I'd been there.

So you think green and pink are co-ordinated then

This explains your colour scheme on the 'deck chair' medline!

Rogue Wave · 23 February 2004, 13:54

Is that the brigadeers new bench in the picture?

The Jackeens · 23 February 2004, 14:21

No mate...will post piccy of new bench on the darkside as soon as my camera returns...

BTW how's tricks? You'd have enjoyed the paintballing...

Missus

The Jackeens · 23 February 2004, 15:05

Exclusive Piccies from the battlefield...
(More to follow later)

Missus

Phil Davies · 23 February 2004, 15:36

Quote:

Originally posted by John Kennett
......and Daniel is still on the missing list!

Incidentally, does anyone know where the hell he is? - I haven't noticed him online at all in the last couple of days.

The Jackeens · 23 February 2004, 16:42

Here are a few more photos...Morning rendez-vous. Brett (Fearless Jetski Captain) stocks up on brekkie at 'The Bluebird' in Lee On Solent...while Paul believes everything DM tells him...!

The Jackeens · 23 February 2004, 16:43

Breakfast....DM explains the chinscratcher smiley to Ian...

The Jackeens · 23 February 2004, 16:47

Richard B has to tell Louise that he's on Killer Missus's team...

The Jackeens · 23 February 2004, 16:49

NorthWest Ribsters check the conditions while Paul (Jackeen), Brett (Jetski Captain), Adam and Lucas (all jetski-ing brothers) gear up for the challenges ahead.

The Jackeens · 23 February 2004, 16:51

Far left Paul & Tat...decent targets to be sure but you didn't want to be in the line of fire!!!

The Jackeens · 23 February 2004, 16:52

Roll Call ...Billy (jet skier) Lucas (ditto ..also fearless flag capturer twice!!!), Brett (jetski capn.), Richard B (ducker & diver), Ian (North West Ribless)...

The Jackeens · 23 February 2004, 16:53

2nd from the right is the RIBNET Boss. I wouldn't spill his pint. Or Tat's for that matter...

The Jackeens · 23 February 2004, 16:55

People are generally pleased to hear the paintballs are Barbie pink...that's Daniel (jetskier) looking ecstatic