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Old 28 March 2007, 04:15   #1
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New element discovered.

A major research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science.

The new element has been named *Governmentium*. Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take over four days to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganisation in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganisation will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming iso-dopes.

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

When catalysed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium - an element which radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.
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Old 29 March 2007, 17:41   #2
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I can't tell you how embarassed I was when I showed this to my chemistry teacher. Now I wish I read it all the way through. Nice one

Freddie
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Old 29 March 2007, 18:00   #3
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I can't tell you how embarassed I was when I showed this to my chemistry teacher. Now I wish I read it all the way through. Nice one

Freddie
Are you serious? You can't be - unless you are blonde - would love to have been there!!!
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Old 30 March 2007, 14:14   #4
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I can't tell you how embarassed I was when I showed this to my chemistry teacher. Now I wish I read it all the way through. Nice one
You shouldn't waste your teacher's time with this sort of nonsense.

Concentrate on more important things like the continued widespread availability of dihydrogen monoxide despite its well documented hazards.

John
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Old 31 March 2007, 02:57   #5
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You shouldn't waste your teacher's time with this sort of nonsense.

Concentrate on more important things like the continued widespread availability of dihydrogen monoxide despite its well documented hazards.

John

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