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Old 21 April 2012, 13:28   #1
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Daughter getting married

My elder daughter Claire is getting married next month. Anyone got any half respectable jokes for the father of the bride's speech please?
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Old 21 April 2012, 13:55   #2
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She's all grown up now (etc etc), but I remember taking her to ride on the carousel when she was younger... it used to outrage the staff at Heathrow Airport
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Old 21 April 2012, 14:02   #3
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Secrets to a Happy Marriage:
1. It is important to find a woman that cooks and cleans.
2. It is important to find a woman that makes good money.
3. It is important to find a woman that likes to have sex.
4. It is important that these three women never meet.
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Old 21 April 2012, 14:03   #4
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I don't understand why Christians are against gay marriage.
Jesus had two dads, he turned out alright.


too far?
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Old 21 April 2012, 14:16   #5
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I was shocked when she told me she was going to go xxxxx on honyemoon as the groom said he was going to bangor for 2 weeks.

to far????
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Old 21 April 2012, 14:43   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Christopher View Post
My elder daughter Claire is getting married next month. Anyone got any half respectable jokes for the father of the bride's speech please?
I overheard Claire talking to her mother last week.
She said she was getting very nervous about the wedding day.
Her mother said to her don't worry darling you just have to take the day in small steps.

First of all you walk up the Aisle with your father.
Then when you have walked up the Aisle you arrive at the Altar.
Once you have arrived at the Altar we all sing a Hymn.

So all you have to say to yourself is................
AISLE ALTAR HYMN. AISLE ALTAR HYMN. AISLE ALTAR HYMN.

Have a great day Chris.
Does the best joke get a future tube discount.
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Old 21 April 2012, 14:59   #7
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The toast -

To our wifes, and our Girlfriends.
.
.
.
.
May they never meet.





Nasher.
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Old 21 April 2012, 15:01   #8
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Hi Chris. It seems that suggestions are coming in thick and fast. In any event congratulations. With one of my other hats on I script read speeches and presentations before they are presented so if you would like me to give it the once over wing it over to me and I will have a look. Cheers Alan P
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Old 21 April 2012, 16:19   #9
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Start the speech like this

Fornication...cough
Fornication... cough cough
Fornication....cough cough

FOR AN OCCASSION such as this....etc.

Worked well for me as a best man...
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Old 22 April 2012, 11:59   #10
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hahaha! like this one! ^^^
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