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Old 11 December 2015, 10:58   #1
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B&q...

Just popped into B&Q when this guy in an orange and black uniform asked me if I wanted decking!

Fortunately I got the first punch in and that was that, but be on your guard you lot!
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Old 11 December 2015, 15:36   #2
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The local school was recently faced with a unique problem.
A number of the 13-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night,the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done.
He called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man....He explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors everynight.
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, he asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet,and cleaned the mirror with it.
Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers, and then there are educators...
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