Ollyit I presume your comment was a joke, but here are the guidelines for dolphin watching at sea for those who MAY be tempted:
Maintain forward progress at a slow, steady speed throughout a trip. To reduce the risk of collisions, harassment and noise disturbance.
Follow an agreed route within the area of operation without stops or deviations except for safety reasons. Cetaceans are more likely to become accustomed to predictable boat noise and behaviour.
Always slow down gradually to no-wake speed if cetaceans appear directly ahead. Once clear of the animals, slowly resume cruising speed. If cetaceans approach the boat or bowride, maintain a slow cruising speed. To reduce acoustic disturbance and avoid collision or breaking up groups; to avoid disturbance from sudden changes in speed or direction.
Limit the duration and number of trips in certain areas sensitive to marine traffic, such as the Kessock Channel and Chanonry Narrows. To avoid potential repeated disturbance to specific animals in areas where they have limited room for manoeuvre.
Dispose of fuel, oil, litter and other contaminants in the appropriate containers on shore. To avoid additional marine pollution.
For your safety and theirs, do not allow passengers, or crew to swim with, touch or feed dolphins or other marine mammals. Remember, these are wildlife animals. Swimming with, or touching cetaceans may be dangerous. Infections can also be transmitted between humans and cetaceans. Feeding these animals may alter their behaviour.
Whales, dolphins and porpoises are protected by UK and European legislation. If you see anyone deliberately harassing cetaceans, please inform the police.
Keith (friend of the dolphins) Hart