Boat Wars - Page 2

jwalker · 25 March 2003, 21:09

oo....Manos. Sharp as a razor with that one DD.

Jonny Fuller · 25 March 2003, 21:17

That's true enough, but if anyone on this forum had done as many miles at 90+ as that particular rib has, they would understand why it might be feeling a little tired

DM · 27 March 2003, 17:04

Dirk and JF change tactics. The raceboat has been re-disguised and filled with animals and Dirks Uncle Albert has been press ganged to play the part of Noah. Being a clever engineer as well as a well known rooster eater, JF has invented a mortar which fires broken Bravo 3 legs. He has plenty of ammo.

DM · 27 March 2003, 17:08

The mortar has overheated and exploded(should have fitted a shower). The northern eccentric, alerted to his plight by the noise, rams the race boat with his Canadian log smasher.

Manos · 27 March 2003, 17:11

Briliant story David LOLOL

DM · 27 March 2003, 17:16

The raceboat has assumed its customary position. Ditto JF. Dirk tries to escape in his dinghy which he designed himself and had made in South Africa. The dinghy, aware that it has no CE mark and does not comply with the RCD immediately capsizes leaving Dirk in the drink.

Manos · 27 March 2003, 17:19

Good old South African boats LOLOL

DM · 27 March 2003, 17:29

The northern eccentric takes pity on Dirk and allows him in the alli rib. Dirk is hallucinating because he imagines he is being rescued by a Buzzi superboat.On the way back to shore, an argument breaks out in the rib and poor old Uncle Albert and all the animals are left to be rescued by a Uni pigboat.

tbc

Charles · 27 March 2003, 20:18

Bloody hilarious stuff this

mstacey · 27 March 2003, 21:09

Jeez ! can't wait for the next episode

crazyhorse · 27 March 2003, 21:25

Are you sure that this early retirment thing is the right way to go DM.

Not sure all this new time in the bath tub is a good thing dealing with this new found vivid imagination of yours?

Can you get me a set of matching toy boats for mi bath

Yours Rooster Cooler

crazyhorse · 27 March 2003, 22:26

But in for a penny,

It looks like we may need the services of International Rescue,a local ribber who frequents the midlands and is known in various circles as a Don Juan of the sea ,being able to bring back from the dead all fellow ribsters and his own 2nd hand outboard with quick a lick of paint and a unique and well publicised resusitation technique.

Calling Don Juan from International Rescue

Manos · 28 March 2003, 05:37

The doctor on the ambulance boat while examining Dirk discover the cause of the accident.

A VERY SMALL

DM · 28 March 2003, 14:52

At 0400 hrs, me and the missus were woken by a plaintive voice, from the bathroom, saying "land ahoy" followed by mooing and baaing noises. On investigation, it was Uncle Albert and the animals in the Ark/raceboat. It seems it needs extensive maintenance after one dip in the water. Divorce looms.

DM

PS. Oi CH, wots this Don Juan stuff. You've got the missus suspicious now as if I aren't in enough trouble.

jwalker · 28 March 2003, 22:07

DM, I thought CH was nutty, he must be infectious.

JW.

DM · 29 March 2003, 17:15

Awww, thanks JW.

crazyhorse · 30 March 2003, 20:51

The 4.00 oclock incident must be the Orkney outing for sibsters looks as though its going to be a great succsess,Good luck I have a picture of what it might be like.

I cant down load my picture,and I have been looking forward all weekend to it. Pic to follow

crazyhorse · 30 March 2003, 21:18

Everybodys going to enjoy themselves by the look of it?

Shame I cant make it. Will you send us a card.

Keith Hart · 31 March 2003, 04:59

I baggsy Baaaaaaaabra, 3rd sheep on the right!

Keith (wellies) Hart

DM · 31 March 2003, 14:14

To recover from their ordeal, Dirk, JF and the northern eccentric retire to a Greek restaurant. The owner, due to attend the Great Orkney Sib expedition, has had a chart of the Orkney's incorporated into the mosaic flooring. This is so he can memorise the area as he serves up the nosh. Conversation remains polite until the dessert arrives. The icecream boats are the wrong shape. JF throws a paddy and starts smashing the crockery. He does not understand why the staff are applauding him.

When he calms down, the talk turns to boats. The intrepid three decide to pool their knowledge to design the ultimate boat.

This is what they came up with. It must have a long waterline length based on a Mannerfelt planing hull and be pencil thin. It must be seaworthy either with or without the detachable tubes. It is powered by a single large, powerful diesel through a semi wave piercing shaft drive (big rooster). Accomodation for six with cooking and shower facilities and for extended cruising, two 120 gallon fuel tanks made from N8 alli with 4" fillers.

Pic of this creation to follow....